From men to women
I’ve always believed I was straight, but that’s not the case at all. Now I see myself as someone interested in both men and women, though I’m more sexually attracted to women. And I want to explore this. I’d rather explore a possibility and maybe discover something greater, than suppress something that might open new doors.
In this society, sex seems like a small part of everyday life – but sexuality is so much more than what happens in bed. It’s more than an orgasm. Having sex with women opens a deeper understanding and appreciation of the female body, which I find exciting.
I was in a relationship where we explored a lot around BDSM and threesomes with another man or woman besides me, but now I feel like I’ve tried that. It doesn’t excite me anymore, and that’s interesting. We evolve all the time – what was thrilling six years ago might not be now. I’m the kind of person who likes to try things once. That doesn’t mean it becomes “my thing,” but at least I’ve experienced it.
Right now, I feel very drawn and curious towards women – sexually and emotionally. I don’t know yet if it’s “my thing,” but I won’t know unless I try.
What I do know is that I need to explore it to get to know my sexuality even better.
Have you ever experienced being interested in women and then men, or the other way around?
Instead of just letting it go, give it a chance – you’re the only one setting limits for yourself. I’ve already been exploring for about a year now, dating women. But it hasn’t felt quite right – just like with men, you’re more attracted to some than others. I haven’t gone further than dating. And there are many reasons for that – chemistry is one, but fear is another.
I’m afraid of what will happen if I open that door.
A couple of weeks ago, I felt like I had gone through an inner rebirth – like my relationship with men is in the past for now, maybe forever – and women truly ignite my desire, inspiration, and curiosity.
I believe in myself more now, and I’m not as afraid. I know myself better, and I like myself, which is also super important.
It was especially during a recent gathering with women that I felt something awaken – a spark, a signal from my vulva – and with men, nothing.
Of course, I’m not completely closing the door to men, but women excite me right now.
It’s scary to share something this vulnerable, especially when it’s so new. I’ve always been someone who explores and tries things, and these days it’s holistic sex and tantra that speak to me."**
Short explanation of holistic sex and tantra:
Holistic sex is about seeing sexuality as more than just physical pleasure – it includes emotions, energy, presence, and the connection between body, mind, and soul. It emphasizes mindfulness, self-acceptance, and respect, both for yourself and your partner.
Tantra is an ancient practice with roots in the East, and in the context of sex and intimacy, it's about uniting sexuality with spirituality. Tantric sex often happens more slowly, with a focus on breath, eye contact, energy flow, and deep presence – it’s more about connection than performance.
Do I want to call myself lesbian? Queer? Bi? Maybe – but not yet. Maybe I won’t label it at all. It might change, or not. I want to stay open to ALL possibilities coming my way.
Alot of Love
Gunhild
